AS Dean Cross sat on a railway bridge and considered taking his own life, he knew he was loved by his family and friends.

But he wanted the bad thoughts that had flooded his mind to go away.

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The 32-year-old from Birchwood describes himself as 'one of the lads' but says it wasn't until he found himself at his lowest point on a boys holiday in Zurich that he realised men don't talk enough about their mental health.

He has since blogged about the night which has been read more than 12,000 times.

Dean said: "It has made me realise there is no shame in struggling, so many people have contacted me saying they are going through the same thing.

"You only ever see the good stuff on social media and I definitely used it as a coping mechanism."

In his blog post titled 'The Domino Effect,' Dean candidly reveals the details of a night when his outlook on life changed forever.

Like most young men, Dean spent a week of his summer partying in Ibiza and had plans to carry on the summer fun at a day festival in Zurich.

Dean, a project manager at Talk Talk, said: "Two things happened that weekend – I never made it to the festival and I put myself, friends and family through one of the darkest and scariest nights our lives."

On August 9 Dean and his friend Ste set off on the 13-and-a-half hour drive from Warrington to Urdorf to visit their friend Lee.

The three friends headed into the city centre for the start of the football season.

Dean said: "The beer was flowing, United were winning, everything was good. Once the game finished we headed to one of the karaoke bars and around midnight we moved to the main strip of bars."

After a long drive, plenty of beer and a lack of sleep, Ste started to tire and Dean decided to stop drinking to make sure they didn't lose their friend.

Warrington Guardian:

Dean Cross

The group looked for the busiest bar to wake Ste up and as they got to the door, the doorman told Dean he was too drunk to get in.

Dean explained: "To set the scene, Ste couldn’t stand up on his own, Lee was swaying, I had been drinking but was still level headed.

"After talking to the doorman who was letting people clearly more drunk than me into the bar, he said he would let me in if I paid £80.

"It became obvious it wasn’t anything to do with how much I had to drink but more the colour of my skin.

"This isn’t the first time this has happened but this time it actually hurt and knocked me back, we left and went to get a takeaway.

"On the way to to the takeaway, Lee, as he’s always done, cracked a joke trying to make light of the situation. This is the moment I remember losing it. Like knocking over the first domino."

Dean immediately got angry and swung for Lee which was completely out of character.

"With the adrenaline already filling my body, I was punching walls and signs, kicking everything in sight. My mind was being flooded with bad thoughts and feelings from traumatic events I've been through.

"All the emotion I’d bottled up and never spoke about was hitting me all at once.

"I was crying, shaking, angry and struggling to breathe. I walked off in the opposite direction from my friends and just kept walking back into the crowds."

Four hours later Dean was still walking around Zurich crying and in immense emotional pain.

Dean said: "It was like I was no longer in control of my thoughts. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing.

"I would always end up back at the same bridge overlooking one of the railway tracks into Zurich’s main station.

"It was on this bridge I finally stopped, I remember as soon as I stopped the first I thought that entered my head was I had to tell people I loved them.

"After that I remember saying 'this is it' like there was no going back. I tried to to call some close friends and family but it was the middle of the night.

"I've never had suicidal thoughts before and never, until now, understood anxiety or depression. Maybe it was because a friend had taken his own life a few weeks earlier that it was on my mind.

"Once this thought process started I couldn’t stop, I just wanted the pain in my head to stop. I stood on the wall of the bridge I looked down and saw a lower ledge just above the track. I jumped down, I don’t know if this was me fighting back or trying to delay what I thought I was about to do but it proved to be significant."

After some time, a man dropped down behind Dean and tried to talk to him, Dean grabbed him and broke down in tears before being helped up.

Dean has since started counselling back home and has taken time off work, overwhelmed with support from family and friends.

He added: "It is so important to check on your friends, we all need to speak to people more. I have a totally different mindset now and a massive weight has been lifted since I wrote my blog."